


Love Me

by sluttyten



Series: poly orgy [6]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Semi-Public Sex, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-24
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-03-16 19:08:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28961451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sluttyten/pseuds/sluttyten
Summary: it’s been a month since where you left things in your polyamorous relationship with the boys, and you’re trying to get over them, but how can you do that when they want so badly to be loved by you?
Relationships: Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten/Reader, Moon Taeil/Reader, Nakamoto Yuta & Reader, Reader/Everyone
Series: poly orgy [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2123241
Kudos: 18





	Love Me

Breaking up with the boys had been one of the hardest decisions you’d made in a long, long while. You loved them completely, truly, and deeply. Losing them, as cheesy and dramatic as it was to say it, was like reaching into your chest and tearing your own heart out.

It fucking hurt.

As your friends comforted you over what they knew to be a breakup with your boyfriend, they told you that it hurt now but it would get better, but really you mourned the loss of more than just a boyfriend. More than the loss of twelve boyfriends, even. 

You were mourning the friendships, the sex, the romance. Every last amazing experience you had shared with your boyfriends.

The morning after you sent the text you’d been afraid to check your phone which you’d powered off right after you sent the message. How could you face the responses? You didn’t want to see them, so you didn’t look, not really. You swiped them away, deleting the messages and voicemails without paying any attention to the messages.

It hurt when you saw something and the first thing you thought of was sending a picture of it to Lucas, or when you wanted to send a joke to Ten because you knew he’d think it was funny. When you finished watching a drama that Jaehyun had recommended, you just wanted to talk to him about it.

But you couldn’t do any of that.

Then, you also missed the sex, the niceness of having another person holding you and touching you, warm hands and lips and skin against yours. You missed the way that Johnny would hold you in his arms and laugh with you and the way he didn’t shy away from trying out a new kink. You missed Jungwoo’s tenderness giving away to brutal passion, and the eager way that Mark would grab you when you walked through the door of the dorm, hurrying you off to his room so you could squeeze in a quicky before the others realized you’d arrived.

And the romantic, tender moments were what you longed for on those lonely nights afterward when the only help you had in warming your bed was Miso, and your small cat wasn’t nearly as great of a cuddler as Kun or Taeyong. Sure, he would sit with you on the sofa to watch movies, but not like WinWin. Miso couldn’t take you out on dates and show you new music he liked and wanted to cover like Doyoung would. Miso couldn’t cook you dinner and sing sweetly to you to make you laugh when you were feeling down like Taeil.

You considered seeking those things elsewhere. After all, your friends kept repeating the common saying, “The best way to get over someone is to get under someone new.”

And it was certainly tempting because who likes waking up alone?

Being awake at 4 o’clock in the morning is only okay when you’re _still_ awake, not when you are just at that moment awaking to an alarm while it’s still pitch black outside. It’s especially not okay when it means that you have to drag your tired, aching body out of bed, put on clothes, and be awake. At. Four. God. Damn. O’clock. In. The. Morning.  


With a hangover.

You could scream.

You slap at your phone until the alarm shuts off and then you roll over, sit up, and kick your feet out from under the covers.

“Where are you going?” asks the voice from beside you in bed.

As your eyes adjust to the darkness, you can barely make out the shape of him against your sheets as he curls his arms around his pillow, snuggling in deeper. When your phone lights up with a new email, the faint glow of it provides you enough light to be able to see more.

His honey-colored hair remains tousled from when you’d run your fingers through it the night before. His lips are curved in a slight smile. You’re not even sure he’s actually awake, he might still think he’s dreaming.

“I have to go to work.” You whisper.

He groans and reaches across to curl his arm around your waist. “Work can wait, right? What time is it?” You watch his eyes crack open just a little bit, and he searches out the clock on your bedside table. He groans. “Another hour in bed?”

You could let him tug you back in, let his lips draw close, waste another hour in bed like he suggested. But you have this new job, it’s barely been a month, and you can’t risk blowing off work or showing up late just because you were tempted into staying in bed.

And also you’re trying to keep your distance, to keep the cold space between you that keeps _this_ as fuckbuddies and nothing more, which is hard to do.

It’s been a month, and you’re weak for companionship.

You’d tried to take your friends’ advice, really. You’d done the hook up apps, but no one caught your eye. You’d even gone out to a few bars, but again, there was no one who you even wanted to make out with. 

And then, like a godsend, he arrived.

When Yuta showed up on your doorstep three weeks after the breakup, drunk and sopping wet, you couldn’t send him back out into the world. You let him in, and maybe you’d had a bit to drink too, and that led to the two of you falling into bed together.

“You can’t tell any of them, Yuta. I’m fucking serious.” You’d told him the morning after.  


“And here I thought you were fucking me.” He’d grinned and kissed you on the lips before climbing from your bed and leaving.  


Since that night, it’s happened a few more times.  


Yuta shows up, you have hot messy sex, he sleeps over and cuddles and tries to make your cat love him. It’s hard to not fall into old habits. If it’s just sex and nothing more, if you shut off that part of you that is in love with Yuta, then it’ll be fine.

So you can’t let yourself fall back into bed to waste away this morning no matter how much you really want to.

Just last night you let him inside again when he showed up on your doorstep. You were already halfway through a bottle of wine, and together, the two of you finished it and started another before Yuta pulled your mouth to his and started the real seduction of you on the sofa. Not that it took much to get you under his spell: his lips, the taste of the wine lingering on the back of your tongue, his hands pulling you into his lap, his hands moving to your breasts over your shirt.

And even now, you know it won’t take much to be seduced by him again. Yuta’s fingers move lightly on your skin, slowly, tantalizing. You so desperately want to sink back into the sheets with him, the nice comfort and warmth, and again into the sweetness of dreams. 

But you’ve got bills to pay and stuff like that calling you reluctantly from your bed and out into the world.

“I can’t.” You pull his hand away from your waist and you stand up, moving around the room to choose your clothes for the day before you shut yourself in the bathroom to get ready.  


Yuta’s asleep again by the time you reemerge, and you know he’ll find his way out, feed Miso for you, and lock up on his way out. You hate the way your heart clenches and longs to crawl back into bed, curl up against him, to kiss his throat and slide your hand inside the loose sweatpants he’s wearing.

And that’s your first secret. You’re fucking Yuta again, keeping it a secret from the others, and you hope that it doesn’t end any time soon.

He’s gone by the time you get home from work later. The bed is made, dishes cleared away, Miso looks happy enough now that your intruder is gone. But, as usual, you find a love note tucked under the pillow Yuta had slept on. As usual you crumple it in your hand, unread, and toss it toward the wastebasket filled with his previous love notes. 

You can’t let him back into your heart. It wouldn’t be fair.

You can’t let Yuta believe that you’d chosen him over all the others. Because you didn’t. 

And because he’s not the only one you’re still in contact with.

Just a few days after Yuta first showed up at your door, you answered the knocking to find Ten standing there with a bag over his shoulder and a smile on his face.

He looked good, his hair tousled by the wind, dyed a warm shade of brown that was more of a bronze on the top. He’d been wearing glasses and a hoodie, looking ever-so-soft, and for a moment you couldn’t quite comprehend that you weren’t dreaming right at that moment.

“Hey, look, I know you broke up with us and stuff, but we’re still friends right?” Ten shifted uneasily on your doorstep, looking hopeful you’d ask him to stay but nervous that you might tell him to leave instead.  


It broke your heart a little more. You missed Ten terribly because out of all of them, he was honestly like your best friend. You spent so much of your free time with Ten and Kun, and you were completely comfortable with them like you’d never been with anyone else. So to have him on your doorstep, holding out the proverbial olive branch, you wanted nothing more than to leap forward into his arms and hold him close.

So that’s exactly what you did that day.

“I missed you,” You groaned, burying your face in his shoulder. “I’m sorry.”  


“Don’t be sorry.” Ten patted your back. “I’m sure you had your reasons for ending things with us. We all understand that. Hey, it’s okay, stop that.” He laughed as you start tearing up, dripping warm tears on his skin.  


You had just really missed him, so you invited him inside, and within a few minutes Ten had you laughing again. 

And things were good. He was the only one of them that you ever texted. Even with Yuta, you didn’t contact him, you just let him in when he showed up, but Ten you talked to just like he was your friend, and you had definitely missed his companionship, his lightheartedness and humor, his ability to be your friend. But there were times too where you missed those other aspects of your relationship with him.

You would be sitting there, listening to him tell you a story, and all you could do was stare at his lips and think about kissing him, or be in the middle of texting with him as the conversation turned slightly flirty, and you’d find yourself wanting to touch yourself and tell him about it. But you always held back. Gotta keep those boundaries, that distance that keeps things separate.

So there’s Yuta and there’s Ten, both of them back in your life. And then Taeyong too.

In your attempt at trying new things, at living your best life, and spending time with friends, you head to a painting studio with your best friend.

It’s a cute place full of bright colors and cartoonish artwork from previous customers. You’re given a canvas or a wooden board cut out in a fun shape or a piece of pottery, and a whole rainbow of colors and brushes and tools are at your disposal. You pay for a canvas, and already you’ve got an image in your mind. A beautiful landscape, mountains, cherry blossoms.

You’ve sketched it out on the canvas, grabbed most of the paints and brushes you think you’ll need, and you’ve just put down the base coat for the sky, when your friend beside you stiffens.

“Don’t look now,” She gasps, her hand skidding across the table and narrowly avoiding the cup of water. “But I think Lee Taeyong just walked in.”  


Your head snaps up, eyes immediately going to the door.

Maybe you gasped, maybe your sudden movement drew his eye, or maybe after months and months of being in a relationship had built some sort of connection between the pair of you. Whatever the reason, Taeyong looks right at you.

His soft brown hair and even softer brown eyes send a pitiful feeling through you. Your stomach curls up in a knot, and you lower your gaze back to your art piece.

“He’s looking over here!” She whispers, her hand tapping against the table. “Oh my God. Oh my God! What if he comes over here?” And suddenly she’s scrambling to clean up the mess a little bit, making it clear that there’s still two available seats on the other side of the table.

You push to your feet, not sure where you’re going to go, but you can’t just sit at that table.

You head toward the short hallway in the back of the place, toward the bathroom, but you change your mind halfway there and do an awkward turn to look at the array of paints to choose from. You study them, seeing the colors blur, the ridiculous names on each bottle don’t even register.

“Why don’t you go with yellow?”  


You bite your lip and try not to cry. It would be stupid to cry right now in the middle of this delightful little shop. It would be stupid and difficult to explain to your friend. So you take a breath and then another one and another, and when you open your eyes Taeyong is standing there just beside you, his long beautiful fingers skimming over a row of yellow paint bottles.

“Yellow’s such a nice color, don’t you think? Like sunshine, lemon candies, sunflowers.” He doesn’t meet your eyes, and you don’t want him to. You study his profile, the quirk of his lips into a smile, and then he says, “Yellow reminds me of this girl I dated, she was as warm and bright as sunlight. Looked absolutely stunning in yellow too.”  


Your throat feels tight, but you manage to choke out, “Taeyong.”

He drops his hand a few rows down, plucks a gaudy shade of orange, turns on his heel, and walks toward a table at the opposite end of the shop from you.

You take another moment to gather your emotions. Somehow it’s harder seeing Taeyong after all this time, seeing him in public instead of the privacy at home. It’s almost more sudden and unexpected, and you’re completely caught off-guard, and if you’re being honest your period just might be fucking your emotions even more.

You try not to look over at Taeyong as you’re pulling yourself together, and once your emotions are in check, you choose a light shade of blue, and return to your friend at the table.

“Oh my God, what was he saying to you?” She nearly bounces out of her seat. 

You squirt some of the paint out. “He was just talking about some of the colors. Are you still using that red?” You try to change the subject, but she won’t let go, asking another question about him. You ignore her, mixing some of the red she handed you into the blue to create a shade of purple that now sadly remind you of an old bruise.

“He’s looking over here again.” She whispers. “Do you… Do you somehow know him or something?”  


“What?” You look up just as Taeyong looks down. You narrow your gaze slightly, and then turn to her. Lying to yourself is one thing, you can tell yourself that you’re not in love with Taeyong or any of the others, that you’re your own independent woman now. But lying to your friend, hiding a whole massive relationship of several months from her? Does that make you a shitty friend?  


She shifts in her seat a little bit. “The way he keeps looking over here, it’s like he knows you or something.”

“No, I don’t know Taeyong. How would I know an SM idol?” You smear the bruised purple across your painting. “Do you know him maybe?”  


“As if.” She snorts. “I wish I knew him, if you know what I mean.”  


You drop your paintbrush and lean back in your seat, frowning down at what you’ve created. Your stomach is still rolling in knots and you take a deep breath and try to push that feeling down. The painting looks horrible, the colors are all muddy and you can’t focus anymore. Taeyong’s got you feeling like a gaping hole just opened in your belly and it’s swallowing down all of your insides.

“Hey, are you alright?” Her hand falls over your arm, squeezing comfortingly.  


The taste of a secret burns the back of your throat, but you swallow it down again and again, several times before you manage to tell her. “I’m fine. I just don’t think I’m any good at art.”

“You’re doing great! I think that’s the wrong color for the sky, but just a little happy accident. You can fix it!” Her cheer doesn’t do much to boost your mood, and although by the time you leave the painting does somewhat resemble what you’d originally imagined, it’s tainted by two things: the bittersweetness of seeing Taeyong, and the bad taste of your lie.  


That bad taste lingers in the back of you mouth for the rest of the day, and even when you attempt to drown it in booze, attempt to fix your feelings by scrolling through old photos you had of them (selfies they’d sent you, dirty pictures, but mostly just cute photos you’d taken of them like your legs all tangled up with Jungwoo’s and Mark’s one day, Ten and Kun and WinWin sleeping in bed with Xiaojun snuggled in beside them, photos you’d taken during that week you’d visited them in America, and more like that) it doesn’t help.

Letting Yuta in when he shows up at your door is probably a mistake. You’re tipsy, in somewhat of an emotional disarray, and Yuta is... well... Yuta, and letting him inside gives you a new way to unleash those emotions that had been building in you all day.

Sex had always been your favorite way to do that. 

“Fuck! Yuta!” You cry out, your nails digging into his shoulders as you ride him, your chest pressed sticky with sweat against his.  


Yuta kisses your neck, slides his hand down your body so he can touch your clit. “Are you gonna cum for me, princess? You’ve always been so good for me. I want to see you come apart on my cock.”

You slap a hand over his mouth. “Shut up.”

He grins under your hand, just rubbing at your clit, and his next words are muffled. “I know what would really get you off, princess.”

“Yeah?” You slow your rolling hips, sitting down fully on him, savoring the feeling of being filled by Yuta. You drop your hand to play with his hair where it’s longer in the back. “What’s that?”  


He doesn’t stop his ministrations on your clit, just tucks his face against your neck, and says, “You’d be fucking undone if Taeyong was here, wouldn’t you be? If the others were here too?”

Your fingers twist in his hair, your voice catches and sticks on your tongue. “What?”

“Taeyong told us that he saw you earlier. Is that what this is about? Why you’re so desperate for me?” Yuta licks a stripe up your throat. “If you miss us all so badly, then why’d you do it? Why end it with us?”  


You bite your lip, holding in a moan and holding in the truth.

Yuta flips you over onto your back, slow rolls of his hips against yours. He kisses your throat, your cheek, the sensitive spot just beneath your jaw. “Answer me, beautiful. We’ve all wondered what it was. You seemed fine one day, then you texted us what seemed like it was out of the blue. Then we didn’t hear from you again.”

You push at his chest, and Yuta doesn’t budge, but when you push again, he moves away, leaving you empty and shivering at the sudden chill. He sits back, giving you space to sit up and curl your knees up to your chest, wrapping your arms around them.

“Can you leave?” You really don’t want to talk about this with him.  


“Now?” Yuta asks, vaguely gesturing toward his dick. He’s still hard, but you’re not in the mood anymore. “Listen, I get it if you don’t want to talk about it, we don’t have to.”  


You shake your head. “I’m not in the mood anymore.”

“Alright. I’ll leave, unless you want me to stay for a snuggle?” He smiles, and when you don’t answer him for a bit, the bright expression fades and he leans in and presses a kiss to the crown of your head. “I’m sorry, I’ll go.”

“Wait, no.” You snag his hand. “I’m sorry. I just still don’t want to talk about it. Way to kill the mood, Nakamoto.”

Yuta slumps back down into the bed. “Sorry. Let me make it up to you?”

“I just told you I’m not in the mood!” You slap lightly at his arm.  


He sits up just so he can playfully tackle you onto your back with a laugh. “I know! I was just thinking though that maybe I could make you feel better if we just talk about everyone. I can tell you how everyone is, what we’ve been up to, funny stories and stuff like that? Or we can just lay here and not say anything, just sleep.”

“You can talk. Tell me about them.” You sink into the mattress, and when Yuta moves off to his side facing you, you roll onto your side to face him too. Yuta’s so lovely, and of course you know that, but part of you (the part that’s been trying to keep your icy distance) had made you forget just how handsome and dreamy he is.  


Yuta starts talking, his voice quiet enough that you incline your head toward his just so you can hear him.

You’re sure that this must look very intimate: the two of you in bed together, your heads tucked together, bodies curving toward each other. Yuta talks and you listen and laugh, but soon you’re falling asleep imagining the scenarios that he’s telling you.

And when you wake up next, Yuta’s gone. It’s mid-morning already, cloudy sunlight slanting through your bedroom window over his empty side of the bed, but there’s a love note as usual, folded on top of the pillow.

Usually you would just throw it away, flicking it into the trash can near to your bed, but maybe it’s because of yesterday, of last night specifically, but your feelings have thawed a bit and you find yourself reaching for the little note. You sit up to unfold it and read it, Yuta’s familiar handwriting scrawled across the page.

You’ve never read one of his notes before, always only known them to be love notes because you’d asked him when you spotted the first one, and he’d cheekily smiled and told you, “Love notes.”

And maybe he’d been telling the truth, and all this time you’ve been tossing absolutely beautiful love notes into the garbage, but today you open a love note to finally see what Yuta has to say. And it’s this:

“I’m tired of leaving you notes I know you’ll never read, but I also like knowing that some part of me is still here even after I’ve left. I hope you wake up smiling. I also hope you wake up regretting not having finished what we started last night, but maybe next time. xx Yuta”  


Maybe definitely next time.

Part of you can’t help but wonder if this is all some secret plan of theirs. First Yuta, then Ten, then Taeyong. And now Taeil shows up in the grocery store while you’re shopping. You know for a fact that he never grocery shops, so you stand there for probably five minutes in the cereal aisle trying to figure out if it’s really Taeil or just some guy who looks a lot like him.  


In the end, you determine it is definitely him.

Because he sneezes, and you recognize that sound.

“Taeil.” You roll your cart up beside him, nudging it against his hip. “What are you doing here?”  


He jumps, but when he sees it’s you, he relaxes. “I’m shopping.”

“You never do the shopping.” You narrow your eyes at him. “And what are you doing shopping on this side of the city?”  


Taeil takes a box of cereal from the shelf and adds it to the nearly empty basket he’s holding. “If you’re suggesting that I’m only shopping here because it’s close to your apartment and I was hoping to run into you, that would be ridiculous. How would I even know which day or what time you’d be here?”

You stare at him for a moment because it kind of sounds exactly like that’s what he’s doing there. They live on the opposite side of the city, they do their shopping online or send someone else to do it, so Taeil being here to do his own shopping in the grocery store nearest to where you live, it’s a bit suspicious honestly. 

Taeil doesn’t back down from your stare, so you drop first, lowering your gaze to his shopping basket in his hand. 

Other than the box of cereal, there’s a few ingredients for one of your favorite dishes that Taeil had cooked for you once. It had been a quiet night at the dorm with Dream and WayV gone, several of the others were at the studio, and for the moment it was just you and Taeil at the dorm. 

This was in the early part of the year, the weather was frigid, it was snowing, and you and Taeil had just come home from an ice skating date. Your nose felt so cold that you weren’t even sure it was there anymore and your fingertips were also numb from the cold. 

“I know how to warm you up,” Taeil had said as he slipped off his coat and scarf, his hat and gloves and boots. You’d pouted, wishing you’d thought to wear as many layers, but you’d not thought he was going to take you on an outdoor date when it was so cold out. When he kissed you, it did help things. His lips warmed yours and you heated from the inside out. You wanted to continue, but after a few moments, Taeil pulled away.  


“Go take a warm shower. I’ll make us something to eat.” Taeil squeezed your hand and kissed the side of your head, his fingertips brushed your cheek where it was still a bit chilly. “Go on.”  


And when you’d come back down into the kitchen a while later, feeling much warmer and cleaner, Taeil was nearly finished. 

You were wearing a sweatshirt of his you’d stolen and a pair of boxer shorts that you were pretty sure belonged to Jungwoo, a pair of fuzzy socks you knew that Taeyong had stolen from you. You felt underdressed for the occasion because as you stepped through the doorway of the kitchen, you found the lights dimmed, candles lit on the table, and Taeil just about finished preparing dinner.

So now, in the present, as you stand in the aisle of this grocery store, a strange feeling comes over you. 

“Who are you making that for?” You ask, nodding down at the basket.  


Taeil looks and then his eyes lift to yours again. “No one. I mean, just for myself. I’m trying to get the recipe as perfect as that night I made it for you, but nothing compares. Personally, I think it was your company that made it taste so good.” A beat of silence, and then, “I miss you.”

“I miss you, too, Taeil.”  


“I miss telling you about my dreams,” He says, smiling gently, lowering his voice as a woman and her two children come nearby. “I don’t want to plague you with the details right now, but I’ve been dreaming about you a lot recently. Not like, in a weird way. I mean, sometimes, but mostly I’ve just been dreaming up happy little scenarios that haven’t ever happened.”  


You step closer, “Anything interesting?”

“They’re all interesting.” Taeil smiles, and you don’t realize how close you’ve gotten until you feel his fingers twitch against your wrist. “They’re about you, how could they not be interesting dreams.”  


You’re so close you can smell his cologne, you can see the gleam of the store’s lights in his eyes, you’re close enough to feel the heat of his skin. You want to kiss him, to feel his cheek against yours, soft and warm, smelling a bit like spices that remind you of Christmas in a way.

“I’ve really missed you,” He tells you, and again your heart feels like it’s breaking. Taeil’s fingers move against yours, knuckles dragging over yours. “I know you had your reasons for ending the relationship even if I don’t know what they are, and I just want you to know, I still love you.”

When you kiss him it almost feels like an accident.

You were just thinking about it, and then your brain skipped right over the decision-making and just jumped right in. One moment you were looking at his lips, his fingers twisting through yours, thinking that it would really be nice to kiss him again, and then you were doing it. Kissing Moon Taeil in the middle of the cereal aisle at the grocery store.

“Gross! Mommy, look!” One of the children makes a disgusted sound from a few feet away. 

You pull back from Taeil with a giggle, and he reaches up to curl a hand against the back of your neck, laughing as well. And now that you’ve had a taste, it’s not enough. 

As the mother throws a look at the pair of you, and rolls her cart and her children farther down the aisle, you duck in for another taste of Taeil’s kiss. He grunts softly and leans into it, kissing you back, just as hungrily.

In the back of your mind, you know that it’s inappropriate to be making out in the middle of the grocery, so you take a step back, grab Taeil’s hand, and abandon your cart as you lead him toward the back of the store. You know there’s a small hallway there that leads to a smaller public restroom than there is at the front of the store. 

“What are you doing?” Taeil asks as you push open the door to the restroom and tug him inside after you, locking the door behind him.

“You can’t tell any of the others.” You press your lips to his again. “But I need you, Taeil. Please, please,” You back up until your ass hits the small bathroom sink. You lift yourself up and spread your legs. “Please, fuck me.”  


Taeil’s hand flies to his mouth. “Really?”

You nod. 

Of all of the boys, Taeil was the one that you did the least of experimental or kinky things. Sex with Taeil, other than the occasional orgy-type encounter, was fairly vanilla. This, asking him to fuck you in the bathroom at the grocery store, was definitely a far stretch from what you’d engaged in with him before.

“Yeah,” You reach out, tugging him closer by his belt loops. “I need you, Taeil.”  


He leans close, his smile almost touching yours. “There’s the girl that I love. We’ve all missed your horniness, baby. I’ve missed touching you, feeling you around me.”

“Then what are we waiting for?” You groan, and you raise a hand to his neck, connecting your mouth with his. “Just fuck me like we both want you to.”  


Taeil crushes his mouth to yours and drags your hips off the edge of the sink. He flips you around to face the grimy mirror over the sink, and drags your pants down. The way he touches you is rough, and you love this feeling, like he’s about to use you.

In the reflection you see Taeil staring down at your ass, you feel his hands on you, dipping between your legs. You’re all wet already just from making out, from the thought of getting done dirty in this restroom. You rub back on his fingers, and Taeil swats his hand right against your bottom. 

“Gonna fuck you, baby.” He grips your hip with one hand, pulling you back on his cock and he fits right good inside you. “Oh, fuck.” He groans, and then he’s going, his hand moving around between your legs to swirl his fingers at your clit as he pistons his hips forward, driving his thick cock inside you.  


You drop your head forward, looking down at where your hands grip the sides of the sink, but not for long.

“Look at me.” Taeil holds your chin, pulls it up so you’re staring at the two of you in the mirror. “Watch me fuck you, know that it’s me, baby, who’s making you feel good. I’m fucking you.”

“Taeil!” You moan his name, your voice echoing off the walls. His eyes meet yours in the mirror, holding on as he really starts fucking you, thrusting faster. It’s not going to take you long to cum, you both know it. 

But Taeil cums faster, humping hard and fast against you before he groans, moans your name as he cums inside you. His fingers move quick over your clit and soon you’re cumming too. Your hips ache where Taeil’s pressing you against the sink, but it feels so good too, and you don’t want him to go, but you know he has to, so you push him away first.

You’ve already got your pants up and your hand on the door handle by the time that Taeil realizes what you’re doing.

“Wait,” He reaches out and snatches up your hand. “Don’t go. Please, I’ve been wanting to see you so badly. Come with me, we can go grab a bite, we can just go...”

“No, Taeil.” You shake your head. “I’m not choosing you. I ended things because I can’t choose just one of you, I’m sorry. This was great, it was absolutely fantastic, and yeah, I do miss you, but I can’t do this. I know what you want, and I can’t do a future. Or even entertain the thought of a possibility of a future.”

Taeil’s face falls and your heart clenches in your chest.

“I’m sorry. Good bye.” You bite your lip and slip quickly from the restroom. You don’t even finish your shopping, you just head straight home, putting as much distance between you and your broken heart as quickly as you can. 

It’s a few days later as you’re pouting still about how things had gone with Taeil, beating yourself up for actually having sex with him again too, leaving him in that restroom like that, sucker-punching him in the heart probably. And that’s when you get a text from Ten.

“come over to the dorm”  


That’s all it says.

Ten knows you don’t want to go back over there. You’ve spoken with him about how you don’t want to see them all, that you’re just not ready for it. So why he’s asking you to come over to the root of all that, you’re not sure.

“they’re not here.” he says after a while without an answer from you, and then, “it’s literally just me here and I’m bored and feeling lazy. come entertain me :(”  


You sigh, as if he’s totally putting you out with his request, then you reply, “you’re so needy. I’m on my way over, do you need anything?”

“just some of your love, see you soon the door is open”  


And it is open. You arrive, turn the knob, and step right inside the quiet dorm. 

“Ten?” You call.  


“In here!” He shouts, and you follow his voice up the stairs to his bedroom. Ten’s slouched down in his bed, his glasses reflecting his phone screen, a hood tugged up over his head. “Hey, come cuddle.”  


You slip into his bed, tuck into his side, and you notice that he’s halfway through watching an episode of some anime.

“What are we watching?” You ask, rubbing your face slightly on the soft material of his hoodie.  


Ten tells you the name, but you don’t recognize it. “I’ve been watching it all day. WinWin told me about it last night, so I started it then, slept a few hours, and then I’ve been lying here and watching it since I woke up this morning.”

“Gross, Ten.” You push at his shoulder. “You haven’t showered?”  


“Was waiting for you to come over. Hoped we could shower together.” Ten grins, but he doesn’t even look away from his phone. “Now come back to cuddling. This episode’s almost over then we can do something else. Anything you want to watch?”  


You sink back down against him. “You really are feeling lazy today aren’t you? Where are all the others? Why do you get to be lazy today, but none of them are here?”

Ten doesn’t answer you for a moment, but judging by the flashes and loud noises coming from his phone screen, you guess it’s the action-packed end of the episode, so you wait and study his face instead for a moment before you let your gaze wander around the room.

He shares this room with Kun and Hendery and you can see traces of them everywhere. Kun’s side of the room is familiar to you; you’ve spent many hours in his bed, the feel of his sheets on your skin is as familiar as the sensation of Ten’s shoulder under your cheek. You can recognize the shape of his iPad hanging over the edge of his bedside table, there’s a guitar peeking out from under his bed.

“They have schedules.” Ten drops his phone to his belly. “I’m free, Hendery, Kun, and Xiaojun are free too. Kun and Jun went for a run. Hendery was gone when I woke up, I don’t know where he went. So I’m alone, except now you’re here. How do you plan to entertain me?”

Ten’s fingers move to your shoulder, brushing lightly down from there over your side, your hip, until his fingertips make contact with your bare thigh. You shiver closer to him without even meaning to, but you don’t pull away either.

“How’ve you been getting along lately, huh? When you were with all of us you were getting sex on the regular, multiple times a day, even.” Ten’s voice is inquisitive, soft. “What have you been doing since then to satisfy your needs? Or have you not been getting any? Look at how you’re melting under my touch.”

“Ten!” You whine his name.

He smiles, and tugs your leg over his hip so your core is positioned just right against him. All it would take is a little bit of grinding forward for you to get pleasure from this position.

You push your hips against him just a little bit. And it’s enough.

That horniness that you almost constantly felt when you were with your boyfriends never really went away, you just pushed it down. You didn’t want to seek out someone new, you could get yourself off, sure. And you did so several times, but it was never quite enough.

Even once Yuta showed up and kept returning to your bed, it still wasn’t enough.

Your sex drive was a hunger that just one man couldn’t fill.

Having Taeil fuck you in that grocery store restroom had helped, but still you needed more. And now, here was Ten teasing you, stoking that hungry beast inside you who was certainly waking to answer his call.

“Do you want to fuck, babygirl?” Ten asks, and he lifts his fingertips to your chin, just a light caress, but it’s enough.

“Ten, please.” You rut your hips forward, grinding against him.

“Have you missed me like I’ve missed you?” Ten spreads his fingers over your thigh, inching them higher until he’s dipped under the edge of your shorts, touching your ass, and you curve into his warm hands.

You rub yourself against Ten, your fingers clench the front of his hoodie.

“Bet it’s been ages since you last got fucked, hasn’t it?” Ten drums his fingers against your ass. “Which one of us was the last one you let have you like this? I bet it was Jaehyun, right? He was so selfish with you there right before you ended it with us. I wouldn’t be surprised. Was it him?”  


You think about lying. Technically, Jaehyun was the last one you’d slept with before you broke up with them, and you know that Ten’s thinking that was the last time you’d had sex with any of the members. But since then you’d been fucked by Yuta multiple times, and now Taeil was actually your most recent good dicking.

Instead of giving him an actual answer, you decide to just kiss his throat and hope it distracts him from seeking an answer. And right now, whatever Ten needs to hear so that he’ll give it to you as good as you want it, that’s what you’re going to let him hear.

“Ten, please.” You murmur, grinding forward again, even moving over him more so that now you’re more straddling him than tucked into his side.  


“Sweetheart, I’ve missed you.” Ten curls his fingers in the back of your hair, tugging your mouth from his neck until your face is over his. “I can’t even begin to tell you the number of times I’ve thought about you, missed the taste of your pretty pussy, wished I could hear your moans. Like, luckily Kun’s always up to mess around when I really miss you and wish that I could have you under me or over me, and I love him, of course, but God, have I missed you.”  


You, now fully straddling him, grind down against the definite bulge of his erection. “For someone who keeps saying they miss fucking me, you’re sure doing a lot of talking, very little action.”

He sits up partway, puckering his lips at you. You giggle and cup his chin, pressing your mouths together. Ten groans and you squirm in his lap, shifting your hips to feel the pressure of him right against you, delightful and head-swimming. You bite at his bottom lip and Ten retaliates by smacking your ass. You hum into the kiss and really start grinding on him, falling into the kiss.

Ten’s hands move up under your shirt, pushing it up as he moves, and soon he’s breaking the kiss to slip your top over your head.

“Don’t you miss the days of being all marked up?” Ten asks, leaning in to kiss over your clavicle. “Having Lucas’s hands bruised against your bottom? WinWin’s marks left on your hips? Mine and Doyoung’s on your chest? The memory of Mark going wild on your throat?” His teeth scrape lightly over your skin, and you sigh arching into the heat of his mouth, needing more.  


His nose trails down your chest, between your breasts, and his hands on your back unfasten your bra with just a flick of his wrist. The straps slide away and Ten takes the lacy edge of your bra between his teeth and pulls the fabric away completely, leaving you bare from the waist up. 

He places a burning hot kiss right over your heart.

You feel a cool flush over your skin, goosebumps rise, and your eyes flutter closed as you moan softly for him, Ten’s lips move over your chest, not leaving a bit of skin untouched. 

He’s still wearing that hoodie, and you bunch up the hood in your fingers and pull lightly. “Are you just going to kiss me, Ten? I can get that anywhere. I want you inside me. Feel me, feel how wet I am for you.” You take one of his hands from where it’s resting at your lower back, and you drag it down between your legs, to touch you over your shorts.

“Patience, sweetheart.” Ten kisses right over your heart again, and then he lifts his face to yours. “Maybe I want to see how wet I can get you. I want to see if you’ll completely soak your shorts before I’m even really touching you. Looks like we’re halfway there.”

Ten lifts the hem of his hoodie up, ridding himself of the sweatshirt, and then he eases you back off his lap just a bit, just enough that he can lift his hips and shimmy his shorts down enough that his dick appears, pink-tipped and just as delicious as the last time you saw it. You start to slide forward again as soon as you see it, but Ten puts a hand on your hip. His teasing attitude falls away for just a moment, a mask of seriousness instead.

“Do you want to use a condom?” He asks. You start to tell him that that would be stupid, you’ve never used a condom with them, but he cuts you off before you can get all the words out. “I know we’ve never used condoms, but we’re not together anymore, right? I don’t want you to regret not using one.”  


“I trust you’ve not been with any unsavory types since we ended things? You’re still clean? Me too.” You shake your head. “We’re good, Ten. I don’t mind you releasing inside me, never have, never will.”  


He crushes his lips to yours, muttering, “Thank God.”

Neither of you bother with removing your shorts, not when he’s already got his dick out and you’re this ready for him. 

Ten pulls you higher on his lap and you move into place over him as his hands push at your shorts, sliding them and your panties to the side, creating enough of a space that when you lower yourself, he can feel your wetness rolling down over the head of his dick where it’s pressed against your entrance.

“God, you already feel so good. Come on,” Ten thrusts up as you move down, and he fills you completely with that one good thrust.  


Ten’s hands move to your hips, helping to guide you in riding him, but he’s too caught up in the tight, warm and wet feeling of your pussy wrapped around him to really be much help. You don’t want to be doing all the work, so you sit up, moving backwards off his cock. You quickly rid yourself of your shorts and panties, kicking them off the edge of the bed.

“Where are you going?” Ten groans, reaching for your hips even as you flip over onto your belly, lifting your ass for him. He fits right back inside you, pressing against your back and thrusting into you with smooth moves, stretching your walls with his cock. “I have so missed this feeling.” Ten hides his face in your shoulder, teeth dragging lightly over your skin.  


You reach back to clutch at his ass, scraping your nails and digging them into the muscle. “Me too. No one else makes me feel quite the same as you do.” 

Ten wraps his arms around you, lifting you against him as he kneels up. “So have you been fucking other guys since we all broke up?” He growls in your ear. “Who’ve you been having sex with, my little slut?”

“Can’t tell you that.” You push your hips back against him, and when Ten grips your chin between his fingers, you struggle to not let Yuta and Taeil’s names fall from your lips. Over the past year, the only people you’ve slept with have been members of this group, but for the last month or so, you’ve not supposed to have been sleeping with them. You can’t tell Ten that, even if right now he’s breaking the same trust with the group as Yuta and Taeil have already done.  


“Think you need a good dicking down by all of us once again, like so long ago.” Ten bucks his hips forward, moaning softly, “Give everyone some closure, just a last goodbye fuck.”  


You push at his hand on your chin, and you fall forward onto your hands again. “Don’t say that, I don’t want--”

“Don’t want what?” He Ten’s hands have a bruising hold on your hips, but you like the pain. “Don’t want to say goodbye, don’t want it to be the last time? Just admit it, sweetheart, you miss being a good girl for all of us, don’t you? Come back to us, and I can guarantee you’ll have at least one night that overflows with pleasure, even more than the last time. I want to fuck you again with Kun, Taeyong, Doyoung, with Johnny and the rest. Maybe even invite Hendery and Xiaojun this time, they’re so eager to experience you too.”

The idea of that is hot.

Sure, it was a lot the first time. Having that many orgasms, that many penises in and around you, it had been overwhelming. But it’s still an arousing idea, one that is hot enough that right now it pushes you that much closer to your orgasm. 

“Do you like that?” Ten asks. “I know how much you like having your pretty little cunt dripping with all our cum. You can play like you only acted along with Jaehyun’s impregnation kink, but we know the truth. You get just as excited about thinking that you’re so full of cum, a bulging belly, your cunt filled to bursting with semen that’s going to inevitably get you pregnant with one of our babies.”  


And you definitely have thought of it that way, but that was before the break up, back when you had nothing but happiness in that relationship, when you thought that everyone was happy sharing you. Then you had thought that you could have a baby with the boys, they would never really need to know which of them were the father, and you would have more, fathered by several different members. 

It would be unconventional, but you think you could be happy with a life like that.

“Oh, baby,” Ten groans, snapping his hips forward, chasing his own orgasm as he envisions the things he’s telling you about. “I’m gonna cum. Want you to cum with me.” He falls forward over you again, wrapping one arm around your waist, his fingers moving down to your clit as he keeps thrusting deep inside you.  


When Ten cums, it sets off your own climax. Your walls pulsate and squeeze around him, milking him for all he’s got, and Ten moans your name, panting and swearing as well as he empties himself inside you. He keeps touching your clit, rubbing you through it, and you collapse onto the bed, Ten flattening himself over you. 

He drags his bedsheets up over you both, snuggling up behind you. “That was good.” 

Ten kisses right behind your ear, rests his cheek against the back of your head. “I really, really have fucking missed you. I don’t want you to ever leave.”

“I mean, I have to leave eventually,” You laugh a little, and with Ten still inside you, it feels strange but good. “I can’t still be here when the others come back.”  


“You don’t have to sneak out,” Ten mumbles. “Stay. You can stay. We can all try this again.”  


And you know that you want that too. You want to be happy with all of them, back like it was before. Sure, they might be happy to have you back with all of them, but how long before it goes back to how it was right before you ended it? How long before you see the jealousy coming back in, before they fight over who gets to share the bed with you, who is spending the most time with you?

“Stay,” Ten whispers, his lips brushing your skin.  


You don’t respond, just close your eyes and wait. 

Ten pulls out of you, but he doesn’t move far at all, and you don’t move either, staying just like that even as you feel his cum oozing from your pussy. His breath falls evenly on the back of your neck, and soon Ten is asleep, but you stay awake.

And even though you’re awake, you don’t hear your unexpected visitor until it’s too late.

“Y/N?” Hendery asks, taking a step into the room, glancing between you and Ten, his arm wrapped around you and holding the blanket in place over your bare body. “What are you doing here?”

“Don’t tell the others I was here, please.” You sit upright. 

Ten mumbles and rolls over, tugging at the sheets. You sigh and reach for Ten’s sweatshirt, tugging it on quickly and letting Ten steal the sheets before he wakes up fully. You stand up and grab your clothes, pulling on what you can while Hendery stands there, observing you.

“It’s been a while. How long have you been seeing Ten again?” Hendery asks, luckily keeping his voice low enough as to not disturb Ten. 

“That’s none of your business.” You finish pulling your pants up, grab your purse from the floor, and you head toward the door, squeezing by Hendery. “I’m just leaving now anyway.” 

Hendery follows as you walk toward the stairs. “Are you sure you don’t want to stay? The rest will be back soon I think.”

You trot down the stairs. “No, I’m fine.”

Hendery follows your downstairs, and he leans against the wall of the entryway as you stop there, dropping your purse to the ground so you can locate your shoes. He just watches, “Right, you only stopped by to have sex with Ten. Not to catch up with all of your exes. You know they miss you, they talk about you all the time, and I don’t mean in the lovey dovey way. I mean there is some of that, but I meant they’re always talking about missing having sex with you.”

“I heard you want to have sex with me too.” You tell him, not making eye contact as you slip your shoes on. 

Hendery grunts in acknowledgment. “Yeah, but I’m sure you already knew that. Ever since that night when I saw you with WinWin.” You look up then and catch him staring at your ass. You stand up straight, facing him now. Hendery’s eyes snap up to yours and he grins, “It’s a shame I didn’t get home a bit earlier, walk in on you with Ten, that would’ve been a sight to see, I’m sure.”

You grab your bag and tug it over your shoulder. “Maybe you could’ve even joined in. I’ve heard that you and Lucas watch some interesting porn together, so I’m sure Ten and I could’ve had fun with you.” 

“Maybe next time we can, when I catch you sneaking around in the dorm, slipping from one member’s bed into the next. All without telling any of them.” Hendery folds his arms across his chest. “Did you know that Yuta talks in his sleep? I’ve been hanging out in his room a lot lately, and I’m a light sleeper, so he talks in his sleep. And I listen.” 

You feel warm. So Hendery knows about you and Yuta, and now you and Ten.

“I’ll see you around, Hendery.” You reach for the door and escape outside for a breath of refreshing air.  


Three days later, and you’re not sure what god has cursed you, but when you arrive at that little painting studio to pick up your friend’s painting that she left there to dry, Taeyong is there as well. 

Hot tears prick at the corners of your eyes when you spot him standing at the counter, smiling at the employee helping him. 

If you could turn around and walk out without drawing attention to yourself, you totally would do that, but you can’t. And also, by the time you even decide that you don’t care if you draw the eyes of the other customers by walking back out, Taeyong has already looked away from the employee and is staring right at you.

You take a deep breath, and walk over to him.

“I’ll be with you in just a moment!” The girl working behind the counter says cheerfully as she turns away to duck into the back where they store projects left for later pick up. And as she disappears through the doorway, you’re left along with Taeyong.  


He looks at you, but doesn’t say a word, waiting for you to make the first move.

“Hi, Taeyong.” Your voice is quieter than you meant for it to be, so you clear your voice and try again with, “Fancy running into you here again.”  


Taeyong smiles, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes and he says nothing. 

“How have you been?” The words burn in your chest, but you force them out anyway.  


Before he can answer, the girl returns with his painting, all wrapped nicely in brown paper, and she hands it over to him with an adoring smile that sends a toxic coil of jealousy through you. You quickly step around him, cutting off her line of sight, and clear your throat, give her your friends name, and you wait for her to turn around and go fetch the painting as cheerfully as she’d done for Taeyong. But she frowns ever-so-slightly as she turns to disappear through the doorway. 

You turn back to Taeyong, “I’m sorry about last time. I wasn’t expecting to see you here, and seeing one of you for the first time after the break up...”

“You can cut the shit,” Taeyong says, and you feel like your heart drops all the way down into your gut.  


“What?” You gasp.  


“Ten told all of us that you were in the dorm the other day, that you had sex, that you’ve been hanging out with him.” Taeyong’s words aren’t really harsh, but they do seem fairly sharp. “And then, Taeil tells us all that he ran into you at the grocery a little while ago, that you missed him and couldn’t keep your hands off him, and that you had sex with him as well.”  


He shifts the painting under his arm, looks up at you as if he’s waiting for you to say something, to admit your guilt or at the least just state that it’s true.

When you say nothing, he pushes on. “Then, because we were all in disbelief already, Yuta stood up and decided that he had to one up the both of them, and he told us that you’ve actually been fucking him for weeks now, semi-regularly at your place. Is it just the three of them, or have you actually been meeting still more of us secretly? Is it just me that you look at like that?”  


The employee returns, handing over the painting with a less than friendly tone as she says, “Here you go. Have a fantastic day!”

You thank her, and Taeyong’s already walking away, heading out the door and back into the warm summer evening outside. You hurry to catch up with him, not desiring that conversation to be over quite yet. 

“Taeyong!” You call out, jogging after him, and you snatch hold of his arm. “Taeyong, wait! We’re not done talking. Please.”  


He turns to face you, and he’s nibbling at the inside of his mouth, a nervous habit you know he’s picked up from Yuta. “What?”

“It is only the three of them. I swear. Yuta and Ten both showed up at my apartment, I ran into Taeil at the store. It’s not like I went seeking them out.” You pull his arm so you’re not standing right in the middle of the sidewalk, as pedestrians squeeze by. “Taeyong, I meant what I said about how seeing you for the first time after the break up, it was hard. Seeing you just now, unexpectedly like that, it was hard again. I miss you, Taeyong. I miss you all so much, but I had to end things with you because I could see how sharing me was hurting the relationship between all of you, and I couldn’t let that be ruined by me.”  


“Well, we don’t care about that anymore. If there’s one thing that losing you like that did, it made us all realize just how much we love you, how much we need you, even if it is sharing you between all of us.” Taeyong’s features soften, and he sets the painting to lean against the wall the two of you stand near, and he reaches for your hand instead, taking it in his.  


“But can it really ever work out?” You ask, and your heart flutters at the warmth and security of his hand around yours. “All of you, one of me? I know that a happy ending in this kind of situation, it’s not going to be all of us forever, you know?”  


Taeyong nods, his eyes going molten and puppy-like as he stares at you. “I know, but do you think you could give us another chance? Come to dinner? It doesn’t have to be a date or anything like that, just come over and hang out with us again, we all miss just having you around.”

“Alright. I think I can do that, just let me know when.” Your phone buzzes in your pocket, and you know it’s your friend, wondering when you’ll be at her place for the night of drinking and movie-watching that you had planned. “I should go, but you can text me or call me when you know when to come for the dinner.”

Taeyong releases your hand, but not before he strokes his fingers over your palm one last time. “I will. See you then.”

You turn to walk away, but before you’ve taken two steps, Taeyong’s teasing voice calls out, “What? No quicky in a grocery restroom for me?” 

You spin around and groan. “You didn’t tell me that he told you about that too!”

“Oh, after those confessions, we all sat down and had a long, really good talk about you.” Taeyong grins, lifting his painting back into his arms. “Come over for dinner, and we’ll let you know more about it all.”  


“Just tell me when, and I’ll be there.” You tell him, and you watch as Taeyong turns, takes his painting, and walks away, disappearing down the street with your heart all caught up in wishing you were walking right beside him.  


Soon, you think. Soon you’ll be with all of them again, eating a peaceful dinner and everything will be good again.

**Author's Note:**

> a/n: sorry that this actually turned out to be so short (lol as if 10,000+ words is actually short) and I promise that the wait time between the end of this part and the next one will not be too long at all! As usual, let me know what you thought, like and share and if you want to tell leave comments I always love reading those! 
> 
> Also! I really had a lot more parts I wanted to include even in just this half but they got edited out unfortunately because I couldn’t make them flow very well, but god I liked the idea of it (such as Hendery walking in while they were in the middle of having sex, watched the sneakily for a bit, then joined in, but I couldn’t make it work no matter how much I wanted it to, so I gave it up)


End file.
